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“THE MYSTERY OF THE MAN WITH THE SCARY FACE”

“THE MYSTERY OF THE MAN WITH THE SCARY FACE”

Today started out the a regular day. I got up, and was getting ready to do my normal routine when I realized I had no snacks to go along with my morning tea,

Cursing my lack of foresight, I quickly got dressed and made a pilgrimage to a nearby store. As I picked out my items, I saw the clerk looking at me. He looked concerned as I approached the counter.

“You tiiyaa?” He said

“Oh Yeah” I laughed, “I was up allll night. Couldn’t sleep.”

The clerk continued looking at me with concern as he rang up my items—he then gave me a small container of apricot juice.

“No no,” I said ” I didn’t buy that”

He smiled. “Is free. Free for you. ” Continue Reading »

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ESSAY—-MY 2 BILLION CENTS: WE NEED TO FIX THIS SHIT NOW!

In these times of apparent death, misery, fire and flooding, I would like all my friends to consider what I have to say here.

We are under attack—-and instead of recognizing this fact and organizing and fighting against this attack, we are being divided against each other: “Men Vs women”, “Gay vs Straight”,” Religious vs Atheist”, “Democrat vs Republican and on and on.

And all the while this is happening, the people running the show are using the military to weaponize and manipulate the weather with YOUR tax dollars(weather they are blaming on you) to destroy your homes, take over land and control resources.

They are putting additives in the food to make you ill and then profiting off that illness thru the medical system.

They have created a financial system that works off debt and war to keep us working so hard that we can never rise up and make any meaningful change.

The only reason this is succeeding is because people are under the powerful illusion that this place is “real”, “solid” and substantial.

We’re taught to believe that “We need to work for living” and that we owe people for that life.

Many of you are also laboring under the delusion that “the earth is sacred”—-“Mother Earth” —-this is also part of the illusion. Continue Reading »

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MY FUTURE JOB: The 1ST “SIT DOWN COMEDIAN”

At the present time, I am a musician, and i make my living singing and playing the piano. Its not a bad gig—-but its a lot of work.So I have been considering a career change. Now,in recent times, I have made a few strides into comedy—mostly in writing/posting on this blog and also on social media, to some acclaim. Apparently some people have found me amusing. Some even tell me:

“Brian, you know,you should be a stand up comedian.”

Now I wont lie to ou—I’ve thought about it. But then everytime I watch comedians, they seem to be doing a lot of work:Nervously walking around, flaying their arms around , sweating. that’s a lot of effort. Plus you’re up there all alone. Thats a lot of pressure!

Annnnnd—there’s a lot of competition!

Lets face it: There are already lots of “Stand Up comedians”—-and there have been many great ones.

But then it hit me:

Who says you have to stand up and walk around like a maniac? Why not SIT DOWN?

Think of the advantages!

As a “Sit down comic” I’d make sure the stage had a nice sofa, maybe a few pillows. I’d even have a few waiters to bring me drinks, maybe a snack or even a main course! Continue Reading »

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Poem——–

“Fighting onward , with no hope of success
Confronted with a life that is an impossible mess
Surrounded by many, but always alone
Watching the world die, from a lonely throne

Loving those that can never be seen,
Feeing passion for what can never be
Writing music that no one seems to hear
Too tired to hope, too strong to fear

Separated from belief, scoffing at faith
sleeping in a bed, the bed that you made
Knowing the facts, but unable to sway
The many fools ,who mindlessly pass time away

Such is the way, of those who seek truth,
Who refuse to comply,
Who cling to their youth,
Who refuse to settle, to accept the lie

Such am I— rebel to the end—-such is my path
But I don’t face it weakly, but with rage and with wrath.
I’ll fight without hope of glory, or fame
I’ll fight to do good work , to engrave my name

Perhaps when I’m gone, my art will live on
A small offering to the weak to help them feel strong
Some temporary solace from lifes fire and rain
My art will be there —–In all hearts who know pain “

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MISCELLANEOUS OBSERVATIONS AND MUSINGS (PT 31)

1)A vegan woman said she remembered me from school, but I’d never met herbivore.

2)My girlfriend said she’d leave me if I didn’t become a vegan—-but I didn’t carrot the time.

3) A woman went to the doctor and said:

“Doctor, I’ve been on a vegan diet, but I’m fatter then ever! Why am I getting so fat?”

DOCTOR: ” What type of vegetables are you eating?”

WOMAN: “Squash ” Continue Reading »

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“IN REGARDS TO DYING—“

Death is something we will all face, and we all experience the loss of love ones as we go thru this life. But if you think about it, the terms we have to DESCRIBE someone dying are very odd and reveal a lot about our culture and in many cases our refusal to acknowledge this most final verdict on the lives we lead here—-wherever “Here” is. Lets look at a few of them:

1)”WELLLLL— HE BOUGHT THE FARM”

This one always puzzles me. How is buying a farm=Dying? Isn’t buying a farm a good thing? It should mean the opposite.

“Well—he finally bought the farm today—and he couldn’t be happier. He’s ready to work and live his life on this farm, let me tell you. ”

2)”KICKED THE BUCKET”

OK, this is a more dated reference and not used very often anymore—-but it used to be commonly used to describe someone who died.

Again, how did kicking a bucket=Death?

I can see it leading to problems—-after all, buckets usually have nasty things in them—-dirty water from mopping, or some type of waste material etc. As a phrase “He kicked the bucket” SHOULD be used as a way to describe a problem—-but not death.

“I heard Brian is in big trouble . Got all kinds of problems ever since he bought that farm. Maaaan he really kicked the bucket eh? ” Continue Reading »

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“WHAT WORDS SHOULD MEAN”

So often I see words whose meaning seems to be completely different then what the content of the word implies. Here’s a small list of words I have noticed have this “Flaw”

1)”CONUNDRUM” —

A)two or more nuns drumming. B)A nun who helps with drumming

2)”DELETERIOUS”—-

A)Someone who constantly deletes their comments on Social media.

B) An app that deletes all negative comments about you on your social media accounts

3)”HONEYMOON” —-

A)A rare astronomical phenomenon.

B)A prank which involves dropping ones pants and pouring honey on your exposed ass.

4)”SERENDIPITY” —–

A)An exotic dance step involving bobbing and dipping, often requiring double jointed limbs.(“The old man was a master of serendipity, flinging his double jointed arms in a hypnotic flurry.”)

5)”JAM SESSION”—-

A)The act of eating too much jam.

B)A sexual encounter.

6) “CONTEXT” —-

A)A misleading text. (” She sent him $500, but never saw him again. It was only later she recognized he had sent her a context.”)

B) A text sent from someone in jail. (“He begged to have his one phone call, and to send a context.”

7) “FOSSIL FUEL”—-

A)Things that help make fossils grow. (“The human waste helped promote the growth of fossils”)

8) “SOUNDMAN”

A)Someone who makes sound or noise. (“The soundman continued to whoop and holler thru the night”)

B) A man who lives near a bay or inlet.( “The old soundman had lived near the bay all his life.”)

9)”REVIEW”

A) To look at something again. (“I re viewed the article which contained an opinion about my performance. After reviewing it, I agreed with their opinion.”

10″SANCTIMONIOUS”

A) A type of religious ceremony, involving everyone screaming the same note at the top of their lungs.( “The mass concluded with a loud sanctimony, which went on for many minutes.)

B) “Sanctimony”—Related to Harmony, but involving animal noises. (“The cows began to moo sanctimoniously as the pigs scurried into the pen)

11)”CELL PHONE”—–The kind of phone you get to use in prison.

12) “POKEMON” —-A Rastafarian proctologist.