Well it was bound to happen. In its ever widening search for oil deposits, the US military has finally found an apparently inexhaustible source of oil: The human body.
Sec Dunford summed things up nicely. “Human beings are just oily as hell. They produce massive amounts of oil and grease every day, and up til now, its a source of oil that has been untapped& completely ignored by those pinheads in congress.”
When asked how he planned on “Tapping this resource”, Sec Dunford was quick to answer. “Simple. We’re going to invade. Regime change. On everyone.”
Naturally, not all were onboard with this plan.
“The whole things preposterous” said Sec of State Pompeo. “We’ve known about this sweat for decades . The problem is, how do you get the people to go along with it? Selling a war is usually easy—-but this one? Heh heh. Good luck”
But many people on Capitol Hill disagree with Sec Pompeo.
“We’ve needed to do regime change on the human race for a long time” said South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham. “They’ve been killing and gassing their own people for thousands of years, and its about time this government steps in and does something about it.”. Continue Reading »