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THE BANDS & ARTISTS THAT HISTORY FORGOT” (PT 3)

21)”THE COUNTRY UNCLES”: When 2 brothers from the Appalachian mountains(Joe and Juke Bupkins),decided to do a bluegrass version of the “The Blues Brothers”,they encountered nothing but problems. Part of the reason was that most of the people at their performances had never heard of “The Blues Brothers”,and their marketing campaign(“We do both kinds of music,Country and Western”)was not representative of their song list,which was all classic R&B and Motown music.

(After being hospitalized by a violent shower of Beer bottles at one of their gigs,”The Country Uncles” decided to call it quits,and have never played since. )

22)”THE JOHNSON BROTHERS”: An homage to the famous Funk group “The Brothers Johnson”,the “Johnson Brothers main claim to fame was—well—Their “Johnsons!!” While this often attracted attention(and ridicule from various religious organizations) The “Johnson Brothers” were pretty poor musicians,and after being banned in 47 states due to “pornography law violations”,they called it quits.

(Both are now successful adult film stars.)

23)”MY PRECIOUS”: One of the most unusual tributes ever discovered by this author.
“My Precious ” was a short lived tribute to Sting,former singer of the Police and solo artist.Dressing up like the character “Gollum” from the “Lord of the Rings”, performer Don Smeagol was actually an operatically trained singer whose devotion to Sting was only matched by his obsession with all things Tolkien.

(He was forced to stop touring due to a pending copyright dispute from the Tolkien estate,and was recently indicted on 1st degree burglary charges for robbing a jewelry store.)

24)”THE FEDS”: A tribute to “The Police”, this band was notorious for their “spot on versions” of the bands songs. However,when it was revealed that the band members were in fact actual Federal agents who busted people AFTER their concerts for “drug possession”,their tour ended———-due to lack of ticket sales.

25)”THE HANDLES”: A tribute to “The Doors”, lead singer Davy Monkey decided to put together a band based on “The Doors”,but with band members who had one unusual trait—excessively large “Love handles”. He succeeded,but at a cost. Many critics claimed they were “disgustingly fat”,”repulsive” and painful to watch,and the band soon disbanded.

26)”THE SEAGULLS”: Often referred to as the “East Coast Eagles”, Lead singer Joey Bartone and his crew were never able to get out of the shadow of their west coast counterparts.
While “The Eagles” were making a name for themselves with their “laid back west coast sound”,Joey Bartone and his band were often at odds with their audience,and wrote many songs that directly insulted their listeners,such as “You’re a friggin moron” and “I’ll give you my love and you’ll like it”, and “Jersey Bimbo”. Despite their excessively aggressive attitude and persona for a short time they had a small but devoted(albeit masochistic) audience.

27)”JOE’S IN PRISON”: “Joe in Prison” was a band started by felon Joe Bartovsky, a guy who was convicted for kidnapping 19 year old Alice Marshall in 1989 after hearing the band “Alice in Chains”,and thinking that the Bands name was a “secret message to him”.

(He is currently serving another prison for violating parole)

28)”TAMPONICA”: An all girl tribute to Metallica, “Tamponica” caused massive controversy by appearing on stage in blood stained mini skirts. They were banned in all 50 states despite their incredible virtuosity.

29) “THE HOMO SAPIENS”: A tribute to “The Monkees”, The “Homo Sapiens” were protested by religious groups all thru the south and the midwest for having a name that supposedly referenced and supported “Homosexuality” and “The Gay lifestyle”. They currently tour exclusively on the west coast,and have a devoted following in San Francisco.

30) “THE BLOW UP DOLLS”: A group of men who were big fans of the “Pussy Cat Dolls” formed the group “The Blow up dolls”. Their main gimmick was playing the music of “The Pussy Cat Dolls” with a “Blow up doll” of each female member of the band propped up next to each male member.

(Currently,there is a lawsuit pending against “The Blow up dolls” from “The Pussy Cat dolls”,who are being represented by Gloria Allred.)

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