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“FACEBOOK POSTINGS THAT NEVER WERE”

What if famous people from the past had FB/Social media like we do today? What would THEIR “statuses” have been like?

Well,here’s an idea of what kind of updates we might have seen:

CLINT EASTWOOD: Damn.Terrible throat cold and we start shooting on “Fistful of Dollars”.Will I EVER get a BREAK?? ; (

HARPO MARX: Forgot my lines today—The guys are never gonna let me live this down.

THOMAS EDISON: Just hired this kid named Nikola to help me on some of my projects. Seems to have some natural ability, but has a lot to learn about electricity.

KEITH RICHARDS:Tried a cigarette today——Mmmmmm. Awesome!!

EDWARD VAN HALEN: Destroyed another guitar today.But, I did figure out a way to play Clapton licks super fast using my index finger on my right hand—so it wasn’t a total loss.

FREDERIC CHOPIN: Just to set the rumors straight,I’ll mention this one more time:
GEORGE SAND IS A WOMAN—OK?? Her real name is “Aurora”. She only calls herself George because she can’t get her books published any other way. Also,I wear gloves to protect my hands!! I’m a pianist,remember?? So stop with the gay rumors!! I’M NOT GAY.

FRANZ LISZT: Just read Chopins FB post—Hahahahahahha.

COUNT DRACULA: No one knows the real me—-

JESUS CHRIST: Just fed 5000 people with a few fish and a few loaves of bread. Amazing what a little yeast can do—

SIGMUND FREUD: Why don’t women like me? Is it the “Penis envy” thing?Or am I just that ugly? Sigh

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Wow,I suck at math. Maybe papa was right! Maybe I should have stuck to the violin. Oh well——its alllll relative.

JUDAS ISCARIOT: I am soooo broke.I don’t know what I’m going to do. My life sucks.If only I had a little $$—-Hmmmmm—-Think Judas THINK!!!

LUDVIG VAN BEETHOVEN: Everyone tells me I’m talking really loud. FB peeps,is this true? DO I TALK THAT LOUD? My voice sounds normal to me.

LEONARDO DaVINCI: I’ve been drawing a lot of pictures of naked guys lately. I’m seriously starting to wonder if I’m gay. Time to draw a portrait of a woman and soon.

ELVIS PRESLEY:Everyone says I sound black. Great. Just great.

MICHAEL JACKSON: Wheeeeee HEEEEEEEEE! JAAAA MOAAAANAAAAAA. Hey everyone!Lets go climb a tree and plaaaaaay!

GEORGE WASHINGTON:(who for some reason sounds a lot like Bill Clinton) “OK people,I want you to listen,cause I’m only gonna say this once—-I did NOT——-Chop——–That cherry tree———down! I never told AAAnnnnnny one to liiiie. Not once.

Ahhh just think of how much better we would understand history if we could’ve had Social media in the past. Hahahahahah——

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