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“WHO’S ON FACEBOOK?”

Most of us older farts/people over 40 have heard of “Abbott and Costello” and their famous “Who’s on First” routine. It’s a classic play on words and brilliantly written—–but it occurred to me that in this day and age of social media it might appeal more to a younger audience if the subject matter was “updated” from “the analog age of baseball” to “the digital age of social media”.

So here, submitted for your amusement is my version of the famous Abbott & Costello skit “Who’s on first” updated for a 21st Century audience that is eternally “checking their profiles”.
(To protect their identities,we will simply refer to them as “SMU #1 &2”—“SMU” standing for “Social Media User”)

SMU #1: “Hey,did you see WHO is on my Facebook page??”

SMU #2: “No I didn’t. WHO is on your Facebook page?”

SMU #1: “Thats right!”

SMU #2: “WHAT’S right???”

SMU #1: “No,no,no—-WHATS on Twitter!” (Snorts in disgust)

SMU #2: “Wait a minute———-I thought we were talking about Facebook?

SMU #1: “We were!!”

SMU #2: “Yes,but you never told me WHO was on your Facebook page!!”

SMU #1: “Well,you never asked.That’s why I just told you!”

SMU #2: “Told me WHAT??”

SMU #1: “Listen,do you want to know about WHAT—-or WHO? Make up your mind!”

SMU #2: “WHAT THE HELL are you talking about?

SMU #1: “Oh,He’s on You-Tube.”

SMU #2: “WHO’S on You-Tube???”

SMU #1: “No! (Shakes head) WHO’S on Facebook! WHAT’S on Twitter!! And WHAT THE HELL is on you-tube!”

SMU #2: “There’s lots of stuff on you-tube,and I don’t know “what’s” on Twitter,cause I never use it—As for Facebook, there are all kinds of people on it. My question was: WHO’S on your Facebook page??”

SMU #1: “Yep! Now you got it!! WHO’S on my Facebook page!”

SMU #2: “I DONT KNOOOOOW!!!! WHY wont you tell me?”
SMU #1: “WHY? Oh WHY is never on Facebook.(Shrugs shoulders) That’s why he doesn’t know anything about WHO.”

SMU #2: “OK,Ok—let me get this straight: You don’t know WHO’S on your Facebook page—-or WHATS on Twitter——or WHAT THE HELL is on youtube?? And I’m the one who is confused??”
SMU #1: “No,I KNOW WHO’S on Facebook,WHAT’S on Twitter,and WHAT THE HELLS on youtube—-YOU’RE the one with the problem here!”

SMU #2: “Well for Gods sake then,WHY don’t you tell me?”
SMU #1: “I just did you idiot! What the hell is wrong with you?”

SMU #2: (Smirks) “Hmmm—–let me guess—NO ONE is on Myspace,right?” I get it!! (Winks at SMU #1)
SMU #1 “Hahahahah—Yep,he sure is!”(starts to walk away)

SMU #2: “WHOOOOO IS?”
SMU #1: “Do you have a hearing problem? (Puts mouth right next to SMU #2’s ear and shouts) WHO IS ON FACEBOOK——NO ONE IS ON MYSPACE!! ”

SMU #2: (Looks shocked)”Why are you being such a dick about this? Ugh. Forget it”
SMU #1: “Good! YAHOO!!!”

SMU #2: (Long Pause)————-“Well?    Aren’t you gonna tell me that “He’s on “Linkedin”?
(Starts to laugh sarcastically)

SMU #1: (With utter disdain) “Ummm—-YAHOO?  That’s a search engine website moron! No one would EVER name their kid YAHOO!! (Shakes his head in disgust)That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard”

SMU #2: ‘Well,YOU’RE the stupidest thing I ever heard.”

SMU #1: (In disgust) “Oh maaan? Just shut the Eff up!! Go away and bother someone else loser!” (Turns and walks away)

SMU #2 (looking sad,starts to walk the other way all the while muttering to himself)

“Oh I’m a loser? Well,I may be a loser,(Sniffles)but at least I know WHO my friends are———“

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