We’ve all had that “wonderful experience” of having to deal with someone on the phone to get “tech support” and having a 5 minute issue that should involve only one phone call turn into a 30 minute + issue.
You know the drill: You end up repeating the same information over and over and getting no results—-and then eventually, you explode heaping abuse on the poor person on the other end of the phone.
I often reflect after these types of occurrences with disbelief at my anger (After all, it’s not THAT big a deal right?) But then I often think “Is it humanly possible to NOT lose it in these types of situations? Could anyone else have kept their cool under similar circumstances??”
With that in mind, lets imagine how famous people/characters MIGHT have reacted to bad “customer service/Tech support” . (You have to imagine the voices to get the full effect)
YODA: “Hmmm——–Tell my account number againnnnnn—-I will not!!!!
Speak to your supervisor? I WILLLLLLL!! Understand me NOT, you say again???? HMMMM! (turns off phone) Blind have I been to have not seen the folly in making this call.”
JESUS; ” O what a den of Vipers ye are!! The Fires of Gehenna await you!!!” (Looks up at the sky,halo appears over head) “Father—- forgive them——for they understand not what I say”
JOHN LENNON: ” On behalf of myself and me bandmates, I can tell ye haven’t passed the audition to be a citizen mate!!! Can I get a bloke who can speak a bit o ‘bloody English for shiites sake??”
GROUCHO MARX: ” Listen Sanjay, why don’t you go and squeeze the sap out of your head and find me a phone operator with a first grade education? ” (looks at imaginary audience) The nerve of this guy! ”
BILL CLINTON: “Now you listen herrrrrre! Whoever you are—-I’m only gonna say this one tiiiiime: I did NOT——–AUTHORIZE——- THAT——–TRANSACTION—With THAT COMPANY. I never told ANYONE to deduct that $! Not ONE Time!!!! WHAT?? Yeah,I’ll hold.”(Sighs)
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER: “Vyyy did you terrrmmmmmminate my lassssst callllllllll? Vat do you mean you can’t understaaand meeeeee? I tollllllld you girly maaan,dis is Ahhhnuld Schwarrrrrrrzeneggar,and deah is a problem mit my bill and you vill deal vit my issue NOW. Stop stuttering and enter za cooooode I have given youuuuuuuu.”(Pause) NOOO! I do NOT Vant to speak mit your supaaviiisaaah! I vant you to deal vit dis issue NOW!!! Hello? HELLO? ARRRRRRGH!!
(Smashes phone,pulls out machine gun,shoots it some more and screams: “Bennnnnaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!”)