Awhile back I wrote about my choice for president in 2016: “DIRT”, and since then his campaign has taken off in ways I could never have imagined! Not only has “Dirt” gotten a huge “Ground swell” off support from a huge % of the American people tired of “Politics as usual”, but it would appear he has found the perfect running mate in “Governor Sand” from Florida!
We go now to Governor Sands “Acceptance speech” in Florida. (“Dirt” is on the podium)
DIRT: “Thank you, thaaaank you everyone! OK— Before I announce my new running mate, I’d like to give a shout out to Senator Muck from Mississippi(Applause) who ran a tough campaign!
Lets give him a round of applause!”
(Audience starts chanting “Muck-rack-Er! Muck-Rake-Er!)
“But now—NOOWWWWW I’d like to introduce to youuuuuuuu——- the next Vice President of the United States———-Govvvvvvvvvernorrrrrrrrr SAAAAND from Florrrridaaaaa! ”
(The song “Mister Sandman” starts to play as “Governor Sand” makes his way to the podium—He is wearing shorts and a Hawaiian T-shirt , and is accompanied by his wife “Crystal Glass” 😉
GOVERNOR SAND: “Thank you! THANK YOU very much!(Waves)You know everyone, I can’t tell you how happy I am to be running with a man like Dirt!
(Audience starts chanting “We Love dirt! We Love Dirt!).
GOVERNOR SAND: “You know everyone—-In many ways “Dirt” and I have similar stories:
We both had humble beginnings. My family was poor. We lived on a beach, and my mother and father were both washed away by the tide when I was just a little boy! So I know how it feels to be stepped on,pushed down, rained on and have my hopes blown away. (Crowd gets quieter)
Also—as many of you know—-we lost our son “Quick” a couple years back. He went on a boating expedition in South America and never came back.
So I know a lot about your struggles America—— because I am one of you.
But while I have seen the worst life can bring, I have never lost faith in this country and I KNOW WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
On that note(audience starts cheering) I ACCEPT YOUR NOMINATION FOR VICE PRESIDENT!!!
(Audience cheers as we hear the sounds of the Earth Wind and Fire song “September”. Audience starts to wave signs and chant “Dirt and Sand! Dirt and Sand!)
GOVERNOR SAND: “OK—–Now that I’ve told you about me, let me tell you a few things about my running mate “Dirt” (Crowd cheers) Ladies and Gentlemen, I can’t tell you how happy I am to be running with such an honorable man—and I can promise you this:
DIRT——-WILL LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD! (Crowd cheers)
And you know what? DIRT IS ONE POLITICIAN YOU CAN TRUST WITH YOUR KIDS!”
(All of a sudden, lights go down and a video screen appears and a movie begins to play. We see some children playing in the mud with plastic shovels and scoops as mommy looks happily on. A man in overall steps up and begins to speak)
“Ya know, Dirt has been in my family for generations—my family—my daddies family and his family. He’s always been there for us. Without dirt,I’d have nothing”
(Show another shot of Mom, this time on her knees pruning flowers—she turns and gives a big thumbs up and speaks)
MOM “I love dirt and I love getting dirty. It’s good for the soul. and my kids love it too!”
(Kids run towards back door of house)
MOM:Scrape the dirt off your shoes before you go in kids!!
(Looks back at camera, smiles—camera pans back to man in overalls)
MAN IN OVERALLS: “Let’s all support Dirt in 2016. Lets bring this country back to basics again with a candidate we can trust.”
(Patriotic music kicks in,Video ends,lights come back on and we see “Governor Sand” again)
GOVERNOR SAND:”Ladies and Gentlemen—-may I introduce to you the next President of the United States—DIRRRRRRRRRRRT!”
(The song “Dirty Laundry” starts to play as “Dirt” walks on the stage. As the crowd goes wild, “Dirt and Sand” raise their hands together and the sign “Dirt and Sand in 2016” is finally revealed)
Well—I know I’m ready America! The question is—-ARE YOU?