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TRUE ORIGINS/HISTORIES OF NURSERY RHYMES #1: “JACK & JILL”

“Jack an Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water”.

Well,thats what they say.

But according to Jill’s Father(who I interviewed one day—-His name was “Jumpin Jehosophat”) Jack had “other ideas” that “had nothing to do with gettin any water”.

Here are a few excerpts from my interview with him waaaay back in 19 vaa vaa voom.

JUMPIN JEHOSOPHAT: “Brian, I never trusted that boy—-not for one minute!! I saw how he looked at my daughter!! When Jill told me they was gonna go up the hill to fetch em some water,I knew what Jack was up to!! I called him in my room and said:

“Listen here Jack. WHO goes “Up the hill” to “fetch water”? Doesn’t water flow DOWNHILL? Fetch a pail of water” my ass!!” You stay away from my daughter!!! ”

Of course,the more I railed against Jack,the more my daughter wanted to be with him—–and now? Because of that boy and his “pail of water” I got me a grandson I gotta take care of!!!

Well, naturally I wanted to hear “Jack and Jill’s” side of the story, but when I asked “Jehosophat” where they were, or where I could find them, he scoffed and said “EH! They done run off!”

When I asked him WHY they had run off, he told me the following:

“One day I saw that scalliwag sneakin up the hill with my Jill, and I decided I’d had enough. So I followed em up the hill and took out my ridin crop and plunked ole Jack right on his stupid noggin——-not hard enough to really hurt him mind ya, but enough to give him a nice welt. Well,he screamed and fell down and said something about me breakin his crown or some gibberish like that. Of course, Jill weren’t too happy bout me breakin Jacks noggin like that,and one day right after the baby was born, she cursed me out a somethin fierce and then ran after him, and I ain’t seen neither of em since.”

As soon as he made this statement, I heard the baby cry, and was told that the interview was over..

“Sorry mister interviewer, but I got to take care of my grandson”

“Ok sir, I understand. Can I just ask you one more question—-what’s your grandsons name?”

“I named him after his no good daddy—– but gave him my last name,Sprat.”

“So his full name is—-?”

“Little Jack Sprat. Little Jackie Junior I call him for short”  He winked at me, and I left, more knowledgeable than I had been before.

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