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“Miscellaneous Observations and Musings” (Pt 1)

1) ” I used to be indecisive. Now? I’m not so sure—-”

2) ” “I used to have an anger problem. Now? I just DONT F#CKIN CARE!”

3) “My girlfriend accused me of being uncaring and distant. Eh. Whatever—–“
4) “A friend asked me if I was a procrastinator. I told him I’d let him know—— tomorrow.”

5) “What do cows put in their coffee?”

6) “When a kid in Africa doesn’t want to eat what’s on his or her plate, what do the parents say?”

7) “Do Turkeys suffer from narcolepsy?”

8) “What if a spoonful of sugar DOESN’T “make the medicine go down”?? What then?”

9) “Before the Roman days,what did they call a Caesar salad?”

10) “Why is the saying “Someday your chickens are gonna come home to roost” considered a threat? First of all, I don’t know about you,but I don’t have any chickens,and I don’t know anyone who does!! Secondly———-who is this “Roost character”?? Sounds like he’s the one with the problem here,not me. If this “Roost” character wants chickens he CAN HAVE THEM.
There’s no place for them here at my place.”

11) “When you’re young,you want to “get into someone elses pants”—–but when you get older,you just want to be able to get into your own. “

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