“YOU KNOW THE ECONOMY IS BAD WHEN—”
1)You get a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
2)Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
3)You see Bank CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
4) When Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
5)You read about a stripper being killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
6)You see Mormon’s with only one wife.
7)Your bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them!
8)You go downtown and ask The bums if THEY could” spare any change”.
9) You go behind McDonald’s to see if there is any food in the dumpster,and there’s a line.
10) The guy from the pawn shop comes to your house and asks YOU if you could “Give him a loan”.
11) Prisons are actually “renting rooms”.
“HERE’S A PICTURE OF ME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER”
Why do people always say “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger??”
OK,thats nice. But if you think about it EVERY picture of you was taken “when you were younger”!!!! If you want to really impress me,show me a picture “where you are older”. Now THAT would be something to see.
“THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE——–”
A man walks into a clinic,and asked to see a doctor.When the doctor finally came in,he jumped back holding his nose and said “Sir,is that you?”
MAN: “Yes doctor it is”.
DOCTOR: “WHY do you smell like that?”
MAN: “Well doc, I work in a circus,and my job is clean up all the elephant poop.
DOCTOR: “Good Lord man,what a terrible job!Why don’t you quit?”
MAN: “WHAT?? And give up being in show business?”