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Often times I wondered if I ever had to pursue a “real job” that didn’t involve music what kind of job I would be qualified for!! It wasn’t a pretty thought. In fact it was downright frightening! In case you doubt me,let me show you a partial list of some of the “possible career options” I came up with on that dreary day:

A)Pursue a teaching job showing people how to live with insomnia.

B)Give seminars on how to remain anonymous in your chosen field no matter how good you are.
C)Train people how to work in an area where no one speaks English.

D)Start a gypsy school and show people how to avoid living anywhere for more than 6 months at a time.

E)Teach a class on how to survive without having a doctor or a health care plan.

F)Show people how to become educated without going to college.


Here’s a good joke all my musician friends will appreciate:

A man took a vacation to visit the African safari. While he was travelling thru the jungle, he started to hear some incredible drumming coming from a distance. So the man looked at his guide and said:

“Wow! That’s amazing — can you take me closer to those drums?
But his guide looked aghast and said:
“No! We must go now — when drums stop, big trouble!

MAN: “But the drumming sounds amazing!! I really want to check it out—–”

GUIDE: “No NO!! We must go!! When drums stop, BIIIIG TROUBLE!!!”

MAN: “But this is the kind of thing I came here to experience!! I really want to hear it!”

GUIDE: “Nooooo! I told you!! We MUST go before drums stop!”

MAN: “But WHYYY? WHY?? What happens when the drums stop?”



When you’re sick and you’re a performer,it’s really brutal,and if you’re a singer, it really limits your repertoire!!

But hey,let’s try and look at the bright side of this issue!!
There’s always the “Joe Cocker &Rod Stewart medleys” that will sound better than ever. Also,there’s no better time to get out your 90’s “Grunge repertoire” (Creed,Nirvana,Pearl Jam etc) and your death metal growl will never sound so deep and rough!!

Also you can always do a great imitation of Louis Armstrong when you’re sick—so that’s a plus.

(You’ll never do a better rendition of “What a Wonderful Woooooorrrlllllld” when you have a cold,right? Good Morrrrnnnnninnnnnn Vietnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamm!!)
Then of course,there’s always impressions:
Yoda,Grover,”Oscar the Grouch”,”Redd Foxx”.
(Hey, I’m just tryin to help—————–)


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