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THE NIGHT “JESUS” CAME—“LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT”

I often hear Christians quote a passage in the Bible that references Jesus and his “return” where it claims that when he returns he will  “Come like a thief in the night”—-but seriously—–can you imagine if Jesus DID come “Like a thief in the night?”
Imagine the scene:
You’re asleep in your home, it’s late at night—when suddenly a man breaks in!
YOU:”Who’s there?”
“JESUS”: (Stops moving,quietly curses under his breath)
YOU:”WHAT are you doing in my house??”
“JESUS”:”Ummm—yeah—-(looks around nervously)
YOU:”I SAID—WHAT are you doing in my house?”

“JESUS”:”Ummmmmm——-well I—-(coughs nervously, looks around for exit)
YOU:”That’s it—I’m calling the cops!”
“JESUS”:”No no! Wait!(eyes dart nervously—sees Bible on table) Remember—-in the Bible? It said (Looks up nervously trying to remember) I will come like —a THIEF IN THE NIGHT?”
YOU:”What? “
“JESUS”:”Yes—that’s what I said—-MY CHILD————(Starts to act part more)
YOU:” (Looks astonished) “You mean—-it’s reeeeally you? Jesus?”
“JESUS”:”(Smirks,starts to speak in a calmer/lower voice) “Yesssss my child——it is I. Have you been following my commandments?”
YOU;”Yes Jesus! Yes I have. OH JESUS!
(Falls to knees/Bows head)
JESUS:”(smiles a little) My child you must spread the word that I have come—(Starts edging towards the door)——but be ready! The final moment is—(looks up) AT HAND.”
YOU:”Oh Jesus—please take me with you!”
JESUS:”Not yet my dear one! (Strokes your face with his hand)BUT———-prepare yourself my child! I shall return —-SOON.”
(Jesus slips out the door and immediately starts to run as fast as he can)
You:”Wow. WOW. (Looks around at house) “Heyyyyyyyyyy—————-where’s my lap top?
(Face grows angry,slowly realizes what has happened and looks up at ceiling and screams in best “William Shatner voice”)
“JEEEESUSSSSS! JEEEEESUSSSSS! 😉
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