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“FAMOUS PEOPLES FIRST WORDS”

Can you imagine if famous people could’ve talked right when they were born? I wonder what they would’ve said? Hmmmmmm—let’s imagine:

DONALD TRUMP:(Turns to mother)”Listen Mom——-I WILL BE———THE BEST KID!! .I will make this family GREAT again. All the doctors love me”

LUDVIG VAN BEETHOVEN:” YES! I CAN HEAR! I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING. HMMMMMMMM!  YEAHHHH!  BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH! WHOO HOO!”

JAMES BROWN:(Doctor slaps butt)” HEYYYYY!! HURT MY BUTT! WITH THE SLAP! WAAAAAAA!! GOOD GOD! JUMP BACK AND PISS MYSELF!”

MICHAEL JACKSON:” I’m colllld and skeerrrred———-hurry up and put me under the blaaaaannnnnket!(starts to sing) Wheee HEEEE!! JAA MOOOOANAAA!(Butt gets slapped) AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!(does famous yell/grabs crotch)

ALBERT EINSTEIN:” Well well——–THAT was relatively messy——and very painful.”

HILLARY CLINTON:” No woman should have to go thru—THAT(Points at mother) We need better parental planning in this country!

CLINT EASTWOOD:(Gets smacked on the butt/ squints angrily at doctor)
“I know what you’re thinkin—-is this baby gonna pee all over me—-or not? Well to be honest—I’m not exactly sure myself. But you need to ask your self one question doc—do ya feel lucky? Well? Do ya? PUNK?”

“AHNULD” SCHWARZENEGGER:(Looks at doctor and speaks in robotic voice) “Velcome to my birrrrrrth girly maaaan.” (Doctor spanks butt, “Ahnuld” laughs) “Vat was dat? Are you trying to tickle me? Listen Doctaa Fruitcake—-keep your hands of my assssss, or I’ll be foaced to tehhhhminate youuuuuuu”

BILL CLINTON:” I swearrrrrrr———-I did not—-come out——–of that womans vagina.”

RICHARD SIMMONS:(Looks at mother,already has little red shorts on for some reason)) “ARRRRRGH! I am NEVER———-going near——-THAT——–again. —-UGH!”(shudders) Mom, we need to tone you up. Let’s go!!”(Waves hands in the air)

MARTHA STEWART: “Well—-THAT was worse than being in prison!!! (Looks around at Doctors) I HOPE this hospital carries MYYYY  line of sheets and towels??”

KURT COBAIN:(Sees doctor coming towards him with needle) “KEEP——–THAT———AWAY FROM MEEEEEE!” (Mutters to self) No needles this time”

BONO “ARRRRGH!!!!(Covers eyes)I NEED SUNGLASSES! I CANT SEE! THE LIGHT! THE LIGHT!!!  It BLINDS!!! IT HURTS!!!” (Starts singing notes at the end of “With or Without you”)”OHHHH OHHHH OHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHHH—-”

BRUCE JENNER: (Looks down at penis) “What’s tHIS? What the hell?? NOOOO! I specifically requested to be a woman this time!!!!  I wasn’t supposed to have one of ——–THESE!!!(Looks at penis again,turns head in disgust) WHAT THE HELL MAN!!?? WHAT–THE HELLLL!?@#”

(Starts doing push ups and sit ups/mumbles to self—“God DAMN IT!’)

OPRAH: (looks at her mother) “Mother, when I mentioned we should start exploring our inner selves, I was NOT referring to that!”

HARPO MARX:” I ——-HAVE—SO MUCH TO TELL YOU—-!!!!(Winks and makes bird whistle sound/toots horn)

KIM KARDASHIAN:(Looks at Butt after Doctor spanks it) “Hmmmm—–THIS must be the reason I’m here! Wow—-look at that!  Beauuuuutifullllll——”

BARACK OBAMA:(Looks at mother) “Mom,do me a favor!! Please—–PLEASE make sure to NOT lose the Birth certificate this time——OK? Thank you. Now(Hold up hand/puts thumb over other fingers)—-you have a great day—–and God Bless America”

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