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“TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE”

Ever wake up in the morning and realize you forgot to put the garbage out the night before “Garbage day??” It is truly one of the scariest “non life threatening moments”  a person can have!

Anyways—–here is my story:

It was around 5:30 am when I woke up this morning that the realization hit me: I forgot to put the garbage out!!

“Oh well”, I thought “At least I woke up before the garbage men got here.”

Deeply resenting having to leave my bed, I got up, more asleep than awake and clumsily put on my clothes and schlepped the garbage outside. I then stumbled back towards my bed and got under the covers and fell back asleep.

Once asleep, I found myself having a dream about driving in a truck and taking a bunch of garbage to the dump!

Whilst I was sitting at a red light, a woman approached my truck and “asked for a ride.” Before I could say anything she jumped in,and as my truck was so full of garbage,her added weight destabilized my car! (Dream logic)

“Get out of the truck” I screamed—-“It’s already overloaded! It can’t take more weight!”

But the damage had already been done, and for some reason the added weight made my car start to roll back words(Hey it was a dream! LOL) and of course when I went to apply my brakes—they didn’t work!!

After a few harrying spins and turns the truck ended up rolling back into a ditch.When I jumped out and looked at the truck, I pulled a “David Byrne” and shouted”This is not my beautiful truck!”

It was at that precise moment that I woke up—and then, as I lay awake thinking about the dream, a horrible thought occurred to me:

Did I REALLY “take the garbage out” earlier?? Or had I DREAMED about taking it out?

I argued this point in my mind for a few minutes. I was positive I took it out! But then again, that dream I just had seemed pretty real as well.

Grudgingly I decided I’d better make damn sure I actually DID “Take the Garbage out”—– so I got out of bed,stumbled over and took a look ———-and to my great horror, I HADN’T!!!

In a panic, I quickly looked at the clock–OH NO!! It was 7 am!!
They would be here any second!! Hurry Brian! Quickly!!

The next thirty or so seconds was truly a display of “Inspector Clouseau like madness” as I stumbled from room to room, grabbing the nearest shirt, desperately trying to find a pair of pants and frantically shoving my shoes on——did I have time for shoes?

YES YES I needed shoes!! Come on Brian! Focus!!!

Finally with all my important body parts sufficiently covered,my shirt half buttoned,looking completely disheveled with two garbage bags in hand, I opened the door to go outside——–and then it hit me:

IT WASN’T “GARBAGE DAY” TODAY. LOL DO’H!!

 

 

 

 

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