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“Twas was the night before Festivus, and all thru my home,
I was completely broke, and had no place to go,

As I looked outside, I saw a squirrel in the snow,
but he gave me the finger—–so I felt pretty low

So I began to make my list of “the things I could do without”
and as I stormed around my house, I began to scream—-and to shout

“I’ve had enough of you people’, I said, as I scribbled their names
“Someday I’ll tell you all that I think you’re all lame!”

As my rant continued,it slowly turned to wrath
But sadly, I paid no attention to the dresser in my path

Oh no! Sharp pain! I had stubbed my little toe!
I dropped my list screaming “OH No,No—— NOOO!”

As I writhed in pain, I saw my “Festivus pole”
And it was then that I knew, that I had a solemn goal

“No time to be sore! Festivus is tomorrow!”
I said as I got up and tripped ——-and fell into the shower.

As I laid in the tub and contemplated my situation
I decided to plan my next move with more care—- and trepidation

“I must finish my list, my grievances must be known”
I thought as I got up, and limped slowly thru my home

Suddenly I realized, I had been doing it all wrong!
Festivus wasn’t about “being angry” or “not getting along!”

Sure, I had a lump on my side, and my toe was still sore
And yet, I knew Festivus—-was about so very much more

I started thinking about all my poor friends, who thru no fault of their own,
Had to buy gifts,to travel——- and to leave their lovely homes

They’d be going to planes and trains and cabs—– and be fussing
They’ll be waiting in lines” I thought “They’ll be swearing and cussing”

They’ll be forced into conversations with relatives they hate,
They’ll be drinking eggnog——- and pretending its great

As I thought of all the people being forced into this trap
I lost the urge to scream and I lost the urge to rant

So I put my list of grievances down on the floor
and decided I was done with it, that I’d complain no more

Because I realized for me,there would be no Santa Claus, and no irksome chatter
No forced meals to eat that only make one fatter

As I realized this fact, a grin crept around my face,
Then, I looked up and saw Night—– had turned into day

I realized that Festivus, the holiday, had indeed arrived
And I had nothing to do—and I smiled—and I smiled.


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