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In Pt. 2 of “Mr Burns Vs Facebook”, “Mr Smithers” tries his best to convince “Mr. Burns” to “get a Facebook page of his very own”.

MR BURNS; “Smithers, who are these raving lunatics on this computerized screen?”

SMITHERS: (Looks around nervously and attempts to smile) “Sir—— remember our last conversation?? Well, I hope you wont mind——-but I took the liberty of signing you up for Facebook!! (Smiles more widely) Isn’t that great? You have a Facebook page now——-and these are your “Facebook friends!!”

(Mr Smithers picture is at the top of the list of “Mr Burns friends”)

MR BURNS: (Looks at Smithers disdainfully) “Facebook? What in blazes is that?”

SMITHERS: “Sir don’t you remember?? We talked about it the other day!! Its a social networking site that people use to stay in touch with each other and talk about issues of the day. Lots of people are using it nowadays. Its fun!”

MR BURNS: “Fun? (Smacks Smithers) Fiddlesticks!! Smithers, you ninny!! Do you think I have time to waste sifting thru the dreary ineffable twaddle of these half witted peasants going on and on about their miserable lives?? Who ARE these people? Lenny? CARRRRL? HOOMMMMER? WAYLONNNN???”

SMITHERS: “Uhhhhhh——Those are your Facebook friends sir—-and Waylon is— “(Mr Burns interrupts)

MR BURNS: “PISH POSH!! I have friends with names like Rockefeller, Rothschild,— and BUSHHHHHH. Good,RESPECTABLE people! (Looks at his Facebook page) “Clannnnncy Wiggggummmmm??? Who in blazes is that?” (Looks away in disgust)
SMITHERS: “Actually sir I was the one who–”

MR BURNS: “Ahh yesssss—I see it all nowwwww(Spooky music comes in) You’ve been setting me up Smithers!! Putting me on some foolish social chatboard so you can go to the stockholders and have me deemed unfit to run my estate!! You truly had me fooled this whole time!!~Pretending to be the good servant!”(Music stops)

SMITHERS: “Sir,thats not true. I just thought it’d be good for you to have some friends outside of work,and I thought that Facebook would be a—–“(Burns interrupts)

MR BURNS: “Smithers!!! You have FAILED me for the last time!!! You’re FIRED!!! Do you hear me? FIRED! Leave my presence at once! And BTW———as you leave,be sure to RELEEEEEASE THE HOOOOOUNDS!”

SMITHERS: (Sighs) “Yes sir—“(Starts to turn away)

MR BURNS: “WAIT, WAAAIT!!!! Before you leave my sight——-disconnect me from this deplorable gossip page,this—— “Faaaaaacebook”. THEN————RELEASE THE HOUNDS.”

(Scary music starts up again)

SMITHERS:(Sigh) Yes sir.
(Hits “log out” button on Mr Burns Facebook page with a tear in his eye,hits “release the hounds” button,starts to run as he here’s dogs barking—Thus ends Mr Burns encounter with Facebook)


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