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“MISCELLANEOUS OBSERVATIONS AND MUSINGS” (Pt 19)

 

Here are some silly questions that never get asked, but should be:

1) I wonder what Jesus said when HE got mad?

(“Me Me—–, are you kidding? Me!”ARRGH!)

2) How would Yoda read Shakespeare?

(“Be—-or Be not. There is no to.”)

3) I wonder if anyone ever went up to Robert Plant after he sang “And the forests will echo with laugh—terrrr—-Does anybody remember laughter?” in the song”Stairway to Heaven” and said:

“Yes Robert, I DO remember laughter—–thank you for reminding me!”

4) Before the invention of car stereos and woofers, how did people prove to others how horrible their musical tastes were?

5) Before the Devil, was God bored?

GOD:”Oh great,another day of endless fawning and praise.(Yawns) What? The Devil’s here?? NOW we’re talkin!” (Rolls up sleeves,grins)

6) How did people get clean before hot showers? How did they deal with the B.O? Is this why everyone smoked tobacco?

7) Before the invention of refrigerators, were there any vegans? If so, what did they eat in the winter?

8) Before the invention of “Lawns” what did middle class white people do in their spare time?

“LITTLE WHITE LIES”
We all know that “Little white lies” form the glue that holds society together—-but the real truth is, its also what holds relationships together as well! With that thought in mind, I submit for your amusement some classic “5 word lies” that we’ve all uttered at one time or another to our “significant other” to “Keep things frosty.”

1) “She meant nothing to me”

2) “It’s not you—it’s me”

3) “I SAID, I AM FINE.”

4) “I won’t do it again!”

5) “More of you to love!”

6) “Yeah yeah! I heard you!”

7) “Megan Fox isn’t THAT hot.”

8) “I Swear it’s your baby.”

9) “You’re cutting your hair? GREAAAAAT.”

10) “You’re much prettier than her”

11) “You’re much cuter than him.”

12) “I don’t care about money”

13) “Uhhh——I forgot my password”

14) “It’s OK—it doesn’t matter.”

15) “I don’t care about looks”

16) “No,you don’t look fat!”

17) “You look better than ever!”

18) “You haven’t aged a day”

19) “Doesn’t bother me at all.”

20) “Your MOM is here? Greaaaaat.”

C)Here are a few phrases which sadly , are either losing their meaning more and more or have no more meaning due to the nature of the world we live in today:
1) “Our Shared Values”

2) “We’re a Religion of Peace—”

3) “All Natural Ingredients”

4) “Intelligent Political Discourse”

5) “Live Musical Performance”

6) “A Loving Relationship”

7) “A Good Work Environment”

8) “Right to Privacy”

9) “Your Vote Counts”

10) “The Rule of Law”

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