I was standing on a 4 way crosswalk today, and I hit the button that says”Push for walk.” Then the realization hit me:
“You schmuck! The lights are timed! Hitting this button doesn’t change the speed at which the lights change!”
My next thought was something like “Why would these buttons even exist? Is there some psychological reason for having them there?? Why not just have a sign that says “HEY. YOU! At the crosswalk?. Wait for the walk signal,Ok Bub?”
Anyways, a little later on, I walked by a house and a dog came running out at me, barking like crazy. Naturally the owner shouted for the dog to “Be quiet” and of course, the dog kept barking.
Seriously, has this ever worked? No matter how many times I see people yell at a dog to “Be quiet”, the result is invariably the same. The dog keeps on barking.
So with these two incidents fresh in my mind, I started compiling a list of all the meaningless actions that we take—-things we do that make us feel like we’re doing something, but have no effect on the outcome.
1) Pushing the lit buttons on an elevator.
2) Getting mad at an inanimate object because it “got in your way.”
3) Saying “come on” when you’re waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom, or a timer to “get to zero” etc
4) Telling a man who’s lost to “ask someone for help or directions”
5) Offering logical solutions to an emotional woman to help her solve her problem. 😉
6) Repeating an action even tho it failed miserably the first time you tried it. Then repeating it again when it fails the 2nd time. LOL
7) Yelling at your computer when it freezes or crashes.
8) Trying to reason with someone who’s drunk.
9) Trying to explain something complex to someone who’s high.
10) Tipping the barista at your coffee shop.
11) Giving advice to people—Especially ROMANTIC advice. LOL In truth,almost all advice is fairly useless. If people follow it, it’s only because they probably would’ve done it anyways.
12) Going to a protest. Any protest.Unless you can hurt the group/people you’re upset with financially, your protest is worthless.
13) Voting for President/in any “National election”—-while voting locally could arguably be said to have some real effect, voting nationally, especially since the onset of Computerized voting machines is IMO, a completely worthless exercise, as the companies that own the machines are all being paid off to produce the result that is desired, and the software is easily hacked.
I’m sure there are many I’ve forgotten—but these are the ones that struck me right offhand. Feel free to add to it, let me know of anything I missed.
Brian McCarthy 
1) Pushing the lit button in the elevator doesn’t do anything? Well damn, I guess I must stop doing that right away.
2) Inanimate object sometimes get in my way and it doesn’t go well for them (see number 7 below). LoL
3) It’s not possible to hurry someone up, that is using the bathroom, this is especially true if makeup is involved. I have found that a timer actually slows down if watched (okay, not really… but it feels like it)
4) Yep, I’m not one to ask directions, my wife will attest to that
5) Offering logical solutions to an emotional woman to help her solve her problem. Copy that! And yet I still offer my daughter help even though she doesn’t take my advice and then blames me for not helping her (which I actually did offer)
6) Well, as long as something is changed each time you repeat, your results should always change… this change led to the electric light.
7) Yelling at your computer when it freezes or crashes. This “yelling” really does no good, but throwing it on the floor does makes me feel better. (thank you microsoft)
8) Trying to reason with someone who’s drunk, is indeed impossible.
9) This “Trying to explain something complex to someone who’s high” really depends on just what they are high on.
10) If service is good, I always tip, yes even the barista at the coffee shop.
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