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“CRAZY QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKS” (Pt. 1)

Every day I notice things that make no sense to me, and it occurred to me that I am sure most of you have also noticed these things and wondered like me if “anyone else had noticed this?”
So here, for your communal enjoyment is a short list of things I’ve noticed that should be obvious to all, but somehow have slipped beneath our collective radar as a species.
1) Why is Capt Crunch still a Captain? Shouldn’t he be “ADMIRAL Crunch” by now?
2)Why does the name “Facebook” have the word “Book” in it?
(Do I have to explain why this is wrong? )
3) Why hasn’t Oreo come out with a cookie with chocolate filling and white cookies on the outside? Or a red color cookie with blue filling? They should be more imaginative. I am sure this would help their sales.

4) Why don’t Pop Tarts have a warning label on the package—you know, something like”May cause burning of roof of mouth if heated for too long”
That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.
5) What will airport security do when a terrorist sneaks explosives on a plane inside their rectum? Will the media call him”The Rectum bomber?” Will there be “rectum scanners” where people have to squat over a camera?
(Can’t you just see CNN doing a story on it? Of course, there will be someone interviewed who will explain to us how “It’s Inconvenient, but if it’s keeping us safe, I’m glad they’re doing it ” Derrrpy Derrr.
6) Why don’t all drains have trash compactors beneath them? Wouldn’t this end the problem of clogged pipes? I know, I know—you can’t fight the plumbers union. Sigh——-

7) When nearly all jobs are either done by machines or robots, what will they do with all of the people? Uh HUH. YEAH.  All you “Progress is good”people—-let’s hear you talk about THAT wonderful effect of all this new technology!

 

8) Why do cars only have 4 wheels? Why not a 5th wheel right in the center of the car? Wouldn’t that help stabilize the car, on turns, or in the winter snow?
Think of the advantages you would have with your “5 wheel drive”(Also, think how envious all your 4-wheel drive friends would be, not to mention the people who only have 2 wheel drive.)
9) Why do car wheels not turn a full 90 degrees? Think of how easy it would be to parallel park—-or to move your car to the other side of the drive way!
10) WHY are we still making chairs with stiff upright backs and flat ungiving surfaces? Shouldn’t alllllllll chairs be made to form fit to your derriere? The curve of your back?

Think how much better kids would do at school, or how productivity would go up at offices around the world if all chairs were “form fitting”.

(See, I think about these things because I care. I care too much dammit!)

11) The same thing I mentioned in #10 should also apply to ear buds we use to hear music. Whats up with these hard/unyielding earbuds that are never quite in your ear the way they should be? Why not make the outer hull of these ear buds be “form fitting” so they would custom fit the ear and thus you would get the maximum amount of sound into your skull from your device?
Unyielding ear buds are the enemy of bass frequencies. This is bad because people need to hear low end in their music. Especially White people.
12) Why isn’t music taught more in school? Not “Old McDonald/Nursery Rhyme” crap like they have now, but real music . In my opinion,kids should be listening to at least 1 hour a day of quality music in school every day—not just classical, but jazz,blues, ethnic/exotic forms of music and so on.
And it should be more than just listening. If a child shows interest in a particular style of music, that child should be encouraged to play a musical instrument that matches that style. These instruments should be made available in school, at least for the child to see and play on.
(Yes, #12 is a serious one because #12 is a serious number.Also, there 12 notes in the Western Chromatic scale, so it seemed fitting to talk about music on #12. In fact, lets end it on a serious note—for now.)
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