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“A MUSICAL PARDON”

USA TODAY STORY: “Today musician Brian McCarthy pardoned himself for all musical mistakes past ,present and future—and many musicians are not happy with it.

Classical pianist Gaspard Ritardando immediately issued a tweet blasting McCarthy for his musical arrogance.

“Zis is intolerable!! In zee great music? Zer must be nooo mistake!! The notes in the hand must equal the notes on the score. That’s it!! On zis there can be NO Debate! Mr. McCarthy has no right to make such a claim. What a terrible man!”

Producer Jackie Protools had a different take on Mr McCarthy’s strange comment:

“Well, Mr McCarthy can make all the mistakes he want—but if he records with me, I will make him do it right, or autotuned him into perfection.”

But not all in the musical community were opposed to McCarthy’s bold statement. Jazz musician Sticks Mackenzie was extremely supportive of McCarthy’s stance writing in his musical column:

“Real cats turn mistakes into purrrrfect moments baby. That’s why they’re called cats. You dig? They always land on their feet. Brian don’t need no pardon. He just needs to turn those clams into beautiful jams baby.”

Bassist Robert Scott was more humorous in his defence of McCarthy:

“Maaaan—I knew from the start that boy was a killlah. Killah DILLAH. But I hope Brian remembers that the less he goes off, the less mistakes he’ll make. Hold that shit down Brian! Love you bro!”

Mr McCarthy, recently responded on twitter to this barrage of comments saying:

“Heh. I’m so popular right now I could play song with half the notes wrong and still get applause. In fact, I could literally kill a song and play it anyway I want—– and no one would care.”

It is comments like these that have caused many to voice concern and some have even hinted at a “Musical crisis” that could occur as other musicians hear their music mangled and arranged by Mr McCarthy.

Some recent comments from famous musicians about Mr McCarthy’s controversial statements:

DAVID BOWIE: “I’m not David Bowie. Go away.”

EDDIE VAN HALEN: “Who? ”

ELTON JOHN: “Well I never eard of this git, but if he ruins my songs I’ll whack him upside the head with one of me diamond bracelets!”

BILLY JOEL:” Heh heh. That’s funny. Why didn’t I think of that? Hey —he doesn’t play any of my songs does he? ”

ROBERT PLANT: “I think all musicians need to take a zen approach to music–to life. Its all just a chain of moments you know? ”

BEYONCE: “If I didn’t say it, I’m not interested.”

PAUL MCCARTNEY: “Is this some kind of joke? You know, on me? Its a joke right? McCarthy? ”

STEVIE WONDER: “I’m an Obama/Hillary supporter. Trump cant pardon himself.”

JOHN LEGEND: “I have a way better stage name.”

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN:” Sounds like he’s a republican.”

BONO: ” I don’t care about musical mistakes. I care about the starvin children in Africa mate. Donate to my charity!”(Makes peace sign, starts singing “In the naaaame—-of looooove—–)

STING: (Singing ) “Briiia—-yaaann—you don’t have to pardon—yourrrr—-self—–”

NIGEL TUFNEL (From Spinal Tap) :”My mistakes are better than other [peoples perfect notes. In fact I don’t practice at all. That’s the key to my style, to my genius. I’m a master of imperfection“

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