There are a lot of things that make human beings unique—but there are also a lot of things that unify us, that we can all relate to—little things we all do that are just plain weird. This little list is by no means a full list of all of those eccentricities—but its a start.
1) “WE START CLEANING THE HOUSE &TIDYING UP RIGHT BEFORE WE HAVE TO LEAVE/OR ARE RUNNING LATE”
A good name for this might be “Just One more thing!” disease. If you think about it, there’s simply no excuse for this! We had allllll day to put those dishes away, or take that shirt off the door knob, or throw the garbage out—–but for some reason, many of us seem compelled to try and do all these little chores and tasks RIGHT BEFORE WE HAVE TO LEAVE–and its usually when we’re running late, which makes this little quirk even more nutty.
2) “WE PRETEND TO LOOK AT SOMETHING IN A STORE WE”RE NOT INTERESTED IN WHILE WE WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO MOVE OUT OF THE WAY FROM THE STUFF WE WANT TO BUY”
How many times has this happened? We are looking for that one special item—we walk up and down the aisles and finally we see the right aisle—as we approach the area we were looking for, someone else walks to that exact spot and stands right in fromnt of that spot! UGH. What to do? Do we push them out of the way to get what we want? Well, most of us aren’t this rude. Oft times the person blocking our way is a mother with a big cart and kids—-so thats a non starter. Or its an older couple—you cant push them out of the way right?
So what do we do,cowards that we are? Well, we stop short of the area we are really interested in and pretend to look at the products in the area right next to it while we wait for them to move.
Its totally lame, but its done with the best intentions—-right?
3) “WHEN WE CANT FIT IN OUR CLOTHES, WE BLAME THE CLOTHES FOR SHRINKING IN THE CLOSET”
Admit it: There have been times when you try on some pants you haven’t worn in awhile, and when they don’t fit, instead of thinking”Oh wow—I must’ve gained weight” our first thought is”wow, I need to stretch these pants back out. They must’ve shrunk in the closet”
Of course, that isn’t the case. Clothes dont shrink when you dont wear them. The fibers don’t “tighten up”—no, you just gained weight and you didn’t notice it because you’ve been wearing sweats too much.
4) “WE DONT REALLY LISTEN TO OTHERS”
Lets be honest: Its hard to listen to others when you have something you want to say!
We’ve all been there: Someone is earnestly telling a story or something about their lives, and we pretend to listen. We utter one-two word answers as we try to keep focused on what WE want to say. Yes, there are exceptions to this—but exceptions prove the rule. For the most part, we’re pretty much a bunch of me monkeys who want to talk about ourselves, and we are just waiting for you to shut up so we can tell you what WE think.
5) “WE ALL BECOME MORE INTOLERANT WHEN WE DRIVE”
I am not sure why driving brings out the worst in people, but it does. We all become meaner, and measurably more misanthropic when we drive. Everyone around us driving becomes “An idiot” or “A moron”—in fact, when we drive, we all become absolutely sure that no one knows how to drive but us.
I can’t think of any other activity people engage in where our hatred of the other people around us ncreases to such an undeserved level.
6) “NO ONE ACCURATELY PORTRAYS THEMSELVES ON FACEBOOK,OR OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA”
Basically, Facebook has turned into everyones private little reality show—featuring THEM.
Some use it as a diary,some as a dating site—but one thing you can bet:
Almost no one using Facebook EVER portrays the true reality of their life! No, what we see is the “Movie star propaganda version of our life”, with all the embarrassing things and pathetic events of our lives left out.
This is one of the reasons that many people who use social media suffer from depression. They read their friends posts and look at their profiles , and see all the vacations they are on, read all the good news in their statuses and think:
“Wow, they’re doing great. How come my life sucks so bad?”
Little do they know that their friend is looking at THEIR profile thinking the EXACT SAME THING.
7) “WE ALL GET SONGS STUCK IN OUR HEAD THAT WE HATE”
This has to be some sort of psycholgical problem. Seriously, why do we get songs stuck in our heads that we hate? Or worse still, why do they sometimes pop into our head while we’re by ourselves, relaxing, doing chores—or even on vacation. Do we secretly love these songs?
Whatever the reason, it happens to everyone. Here’s how it usually goes down:
You’re sitting there on the beach, enjoying your life, and all of a sudden , John Denvers “Sunshine—-on my shoulders—makes me haaapeeeeee” starts playing in your head.
“NO!” you scream “WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?” But no matter what you do,that the song keeps popping back in your head.
Hmmmm—-Maybe this is the real reason people use drugs and drink——To get away from these “Ear worms.”
8) “WE ALL SACRIFICE SLEEP FOR MORE ENTERTAINMENT”
How many times have you been watching a movie on Netflix, or a Tv series and you start to feel tired. But instead of saying: “OK, I’ll watch some more of this tomorrow” you say:
“Well, I’ll just watch one more—THEN I’ll go to sleep.”
Hahah—“Oh the lies we weave when we seek to deceive!” You KNOW you’re not going to just watch one more! What happens is you watch TWO more!
Then, before you know it, its 3 am——–but do you finally shut your TV/lap top off and go to sleep? No , you don’t. You fight off your bodies urge to sleep and lie to yourself and say:
“OK, I’ll just finish this one——THEN I’ll sleep”
Before you know it, its 5 in the morning. Alarmed that you were up this long, you desperately try to sleep—but the jokes on you! NOW? You CANT sleep! So you get up, and you go on Facebook, or Twitter. You check your e-mail. Sigh. Now its 6 am—- so what do you do?
You go back to bed and turn on the TV!
9) “WE ALL GET THE TRAVELING ITCH WHEN WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP”
OK, this doesnt happen that frequently, but we’ve all had this happen: You’re starting to doze off. Suddenly, you feel an itch right in the middle of your back. So you scratch it. Mission accomplished, right? WRONG. That itch is going to move alllll around your body . Next, your head itchs. So you scratch it. you try and get comfortable again. But now? Your butt itches!!! Oh the humanity!
If you’re lucky, this will only happen for 15-30 minutes or so. But what usually happens to me when I’m afflicted with “The traveling itch” is that by the time the itch stops, I’m wide awake. Siiigh.
10) WE ALL WANT OTHERS TO HEAR THE MUSIC WE ARE LISTENING TO”
I’m not sure why people do this, but we have all done it at some point. When you were a kid, there’s a good chance that at some point in your life , you played your favorite record (Or tape or CD) as loud as you could in your room.
Why do all kids do this? Perhaps its because as kids,we are all seeking to “Find our identity” and one way we do this is to play the music we like really loud. Perhaps we feel that this will somehow show people “who we are” thru our vicarious connection to this music that we imagine we have? I’m not exactly sure —thats just a guess. All I know is that this is a behavior that sadly many adults never grow out of—especially those who are fans of Hip hop music, who seem determined not just to make us hear their muisic, but to FEEL it as well .
The truth of this behavior is that no one who hears the music your playing equates you with that music. We just resent the hell out of you for being rude and exposing us to your musical preferences, which of course, are not nearly as good as the musical choices WE have made.
Hmmm—-you know, I think its time for some music.MY music. REAL music.
(Opens up window, turns up stereo and starts to air guitar around house)