Tag Archive | Mark Twain

“MY FIRST FALSE FLAG EVENT”(A True Story)

The year was 1980, and I was a Freshman in High school. One day,one of the kids in my class announced that he has having a big party at the Rec Center in the apartment complex where he lived,and “we were all invited”. So I decided to go. When I arrived,I immediately began to regret […]

MODERN DAY EUPHEMISMS AND THEIR REAL DEFINITIONS” (Pt 1)

In another essay I invented a few new euphemisms/phrases for an age determined not to face reality—-but lets look at the euphemisms that are already out there being used every day all over the mainstream media,and lets explain their real definitions in plain hard simple English:   1)”SORTIES”—————————————–“Bombing Raids”   2)”THEATER OF OPERATIONS”———————–“Battlefield”   3)”ON […]

“CLASSIC SLANG TERMS FROM THE MID-LATE 20TH CENTURY”

I was just thinking about how much slang/ sayings we no longer hear anymore. For example, we never hear anyone say “Tooootallllly” anymore when they agree with you, or “No duohy Ralph” when you state the obvious. Another one we don’t hear anymore: “Smooth move—EX Laaaaaax” That one was said when you did something clumsy […]

“CRAZY QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKS” (Pt 4)

1) “CAN I SUE—ME?”   We all know that America is ‘The Land of Lawsuits”——-we are a litigious society where people are constantly suing companies,schools,and just about anything you can imagine—but what if someone wanted to sue themselves? Could it be done? How would a judge react to such a “lawsuit?”   I envision this […]

UPDATED LYRICS OF CLASSIC SONGS FOR THE MODERN DAY (Pt 1)

Popular song has always been a mirror of the culture and times we live in, and every generation usually looks back on the song of the previous generation with a bit of nostalgia and sometimes disdain for the outdated modes of love and culture expressed in famous pop songs of days gone by/. Being a […]

“A MISSION” (A Poem)

“It appears I have a random directive, To enlighten and uplift ,with humor and invective, Not to confabulate, or discombobulate,or to use deception But to provide information, laughter and perception With knowledge spawned from perspiration and dedication, I will share here with you, my mental gyrations Not for a fee, or a shekel, nor applause, […]

“CRAZY QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKS” (Pt 2)

Back by popular demand,here, for your amusement(and possible head scratching and befuddlement) are some more “Crazy Questions No One Asks.” 1) I think most people would agree that “being hip” is not an easy status to achieve, or to define for that matter If this is true, then how can there be so many “hipsters?” […]